The gift of ill health
There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.
Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, Richard Bach
No one welcomes ill health, yet it can be a gift. Illness or injury can force you to remove yourself from the distractions of your daily routine and allow you to set aside the busy-ness that often keeps restorative self-reflection at bay. During times of transition -- starting a new job, retiring from work, becoming a new parent, moving to a new community -- illness can act as a buffer, permitting you to ease into unfamiliar territory without expecting so much of yourself. While recuperating, you may find time to explore unresolved feelings about the changes you face and prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the challenges ahead.
But being unstoppably on the go is considered to be the behavior of responsible adults; therefore, we usually resist the interludes offered by ill health. Rather than using sick days to explore where we are in life and how we feel about ourselves, we either refuse to take time off or hurry back to the treadmill as quickly as possible. Instead of recognizing a cold or the flu as a sign that we need to slow down and turn inward, we often feel compelled to soldier on. Instead of acknowledging the usefulness of an injury that temporarily incapacitates us, we restlessly insist upon pressing forward.
Sylvia, who broke her foot in a fall, demonstrated an example of this resistance. She expressed great annoyance at being incapacitated just as she was facing a new life following her husband's death. She had many plans for herself, but felt her broken foot was holding her back.
However, it came to light that Sylvia's husband had been rigidly controlling. The limitation imposed by her broken foot provided the perfect excuse for taking her time in moving toward a freedom that was unaccustomed and challenging, even though desired. However, because it was important to her to appear eager to move forward, she wasn't getting the full benefit of the gift her injury offered her.
Next time you feel under the weather, rather than putting on a brave front and refusing to give in to illness, make time to retreat and renew your relationship with those aspects of yourself that are obscured by the hustle and bustle of everyday life. This doesn't mean you need to "work" at self-analysis or make a project out of examining the reason for your ill health. Instead, simply give yourself over to the subdued atmosphere of sickness and notice how your view of the world changes when you aren't at the top of your form, or when you spend a day or two in bed, doing what we call "nothing."
Notice what you think about. Do you distract yourself by worrying about what you're missing, the work that isn't being done, and the people you're inconveniencing -- or can you relax and use the time for introspection or indulging in small pleasures? Do you notice any benefits from needing to ask for help and letting others take over household chores and business duties? Who gets promoted to action by your downtime and how does it affect them and you? What entrenched roles are shaken up? Who are you when removed from your defining roles and activities? How do your priorities and expectations change when you're sick?
From the mind-body perspective, ill health is always a message from you to you. When such communication arrives, you can ignore it and hurry back to your busy routine in order to avoid a close encounter with yourself, or you can mine your illness for its gifts of wisdom, renewal, and transformation.
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