Chapter 9
Practice Like You Mean It
Putting Your Heart and Mind into Change
Even the most dedicated of us tend to resist doing the often uncomfortable, hard work—the practice—of personal change. It seems almost inevitable that what we must do to change will seem galling, frightening, disturbing, maddening, threatening, grief-provoking, or just plain impossible. Often we don’t find ourselves motivated to commit to practicing new ways of being until confronted with inescapable hardship, pain, loss, limitation, or other unpleasant incentives. Facing terminal illness can inspire significant change, because the fear of death is usually stronger than fear of the pain of practice.
One way we short-circuit the discomfort of practice is to rush through it, going through the motions with our minds on something else. Examples from science and advice from modern psychics show the power of engaging the imagination for change and emphasize the necessity of putting our hearts and minds into our practice for best results.
We also find ways to dodge practice altogether—for example, by focusing on how those near and dear need to change, by staying overly busy, or through habitual skepticism and negativity. For best results in life and health, we must discover ways to align ourselves with the transformational requirements of practice voluntarily rather than under a death threat.
There are seven elements of effective practice:
- Congruency—noticing and resolving limiting or conflicting beliefs so that you can allow yourself to achieve what you want
- Fit—finding personally meaningful, enjoyable approaches that make practice more like play than work.
- Feeling—recognizing emotions as subjective communications that provide information about how you are directing your attention.
- Persistence—allowing time for change and holding firmly to the knowledge that it will manifest as a natural result of continued practice.
- Flexibility—adjusting your practices in response to feedback, both inner and outer, so that you stay playfully engaged and pointed in the direction you want to go.
- Optimism— Focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want, and assuming success is an inevitable outcome.
- Follow-through—taking inspired action that supports the changes that are the goal of your practice.